I did not review last week’s episode of our favorite never-ending nonsensical show – I just for some reason couldn’t bring myself to watch it. BUT I cannot let down the masses of oh, 3 people who might read this– so I watched it for THIS week (last night did not air an episode due to the Presidential Debate…another show without any power).
Previously on Revolution…. There is no electricity.
Oh, also, annoying British Lady is dead! Hopefully more of the characters will continue to be killed off…
Now, for the latest episode, “Soul Train” (Oh god kill me now):
- We start off with Evil Capt. Neville punching the shit out of Asthma Boy, which of course leads into a flashback of Neville as a mild mannered insurance salesman. SO Believable.
- Reminder: WIMPS WILL NOT SURVIVE AFTER THE ELECTRICITY APOCALYPSE.
- SUDDENLY A WILD TRAIN APPEARS! FINALLY! Someone remembered how to work steam power!!
- Of course, it’s the Civil War Reenactors who control the steam train, reminding us that as soon as we are without electricity, we will all fall 150 years backwards into history.
- (btw, still no news on Super Algebra Teacher Computer Genius Grace… I’m still hoping she’s not dead).
- Nora/Nala/Nellie goes into an old book store and asks for a “biography of Joe Biden.” …if THIS is the secret text that renews all of America, I would just like to say: YES! (turns out this may be just a code… not sure yet. But if it IS a code, I’m going to start randomly asking people if they have a “biography of Joe Biden” and see what happens.)
- KNIFE FIGHT!
- The “Resistance” plans to bomb the train (of course! The only working machine and they decide to destroy it) – meanwhile Uncle Miles scolds Katniss Charlie for being emotional.
- Evil Capt. Neville is evil.
- I realize halfway through that this show is about as suspenseful as a presidential debate.
- Wild stabbing! Nora/Neely/Natasha goes DOWN
- Katniss Charlie and Uncle Miles race the steam engine train on horses! It’s like the Old West, but not as interesting!
- They jump on the train – Asthma Boy attacks Evil Capt. Neville while Uncle Miles tries to remove the bomb from the fire – and suddenly a wild Menudo Kid shows up!
- Katniss Charlie and Uncle Miles are thrown off the train (well, Uncle Miles jumps), so now Asthma Boy is steaming away from them onto Philly
- Neely/Nadia/Nora is OK.
- Uncle Miles shows a soft side–but Katniss Charlie has now turned hard. (shocker)
- And they are off! Marching through the forest, one by one.
- In a sudden turn of events, Menudo Kid is Evil Capt. Neville’s SON!
- At the end, Prisoner Mom gives away the design of the secret pendant – and reveals that there are TWELVE of them – snore…
NEXT TIME ON REVOLUTION: I predict the rest of the plot will be the search for the pendant hoarcruxes that will turn the power back on…. my guess is that they are all held by former algebra teachers.
Just a quick note, this show is really not all that suspenseful, nor do the characters really grab me. I think of series that really pulled me in from the beginning – Heroes, Prison Break, Alias, the first two seasons of 24 — this show is supposedly of the same genre, but whether it’s the actors, the writing, or the really boring background music, I don’t know – but it is really NOT keeping my attention. I don’t really see how the show will last if we don’t even care if the power comes back on anymore… seriously. Keep the lights off already.