I watch “Revolution” so you don’t have to!

When we last left our new dystopian series, we’d just learned that the entire world lost not only all electricity but any brains with which to reinvent it.  With an impending sense of doom that this show may not quite take off (owing to my personal trouble suspending SO MUCH DISBELIEF), I figure it’s good to keep record of what few episodes WILL air. If this were more sci fi, it wouldn’t be so hard, but it’s placed FIFTEEN YEARS FROM NOW and everything is destroyed including all memory of doing anything with science, evidently.   So anyway…

The Revolution WILL be televised (apologies to Gil Scott-Heron & Occupy)

Here are a few new things we learn this week in Episode 2 [WARNING: Spoilers!].

  • We still don’t know why the power went out
  • Evidently we will being seeing flashbacks of the immediate aftermath of the blackout when the Everdeens were little kids to give us CONTEXT
  • This week’s Goal: Get to Lowell, Indiana and meet “Nora” (who is good at blowing shit up)
  • More sword fighting!  I’m feeling more pressure to find a dojo and get to work training
  • The blackout has evidently emptied the country of people of color.  Oh wait, that’s ALL of primetime television…
  • C. Thomas Howell guest stars!  But alas… no E.T…  😦
  • The American Flag is ILLEGAL and must be burned!  I’m sure we’ll hear from Rick Santorum on this soon.
  • No one has figured out how to use solar energy to charge a battery.  Evidently all scientific knowledge has been lost in 15 years.  Because… no books?
  • The secret Algebra Computer Sorceress is named “Grace Beaumont” – and she is still typing away on her DOS program powered by a…wind up SeeNSay?
  • Also, there are no big animals like horses or bulls or even a fucking cow to pull anything — because people prisoners have to pull helicopters around on logs (or something… because there are also no wheels?)
  • CharlieKatniss goes all badass and saves some prisoners by crossing the “i now kill people in cold blood” line.
  • more swordfighting!
  • We now learn that there are PATRIOTS trying to BRING BACK THE UNITED STATES!
  • BoyKatniss has no more asthma attacks.  Whew.

BIG REVEALS:

  • OH NOES!!  Grace is attacked by an evil guy with a taser named Randal!  But we don’t see what happens or if she’s ok!
  • OMG!!!  CharlieKatniss’s MOM IS ALIVE!!!!  She is being held captive by the evil Captain Morgan…or whatever his name is…

We’ll be back next week with more sword fighting action in a world gone crazy because no electricity = …no brains?

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